AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.
HOW ABOUT NO
WOW I DIDNT KNOW SOMETHING COULD BE WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL ENDING NOPE BYE
just want to raise a glass for oberyn for being one of the few characters who is actually disgusted and enraged by rape and the rape culture of westeros while being non-white, non-het, and not a huge piece of crap towards bastards and non-noble ppl
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
Can you imagine someone casting their first successful corporeal Patronus, but it comes out enormous and unidentifiable and it just keeps emerging out of their wand… everyone turns to watch, confused and concerned, and the caster just stares blankly at the Patronus until some nerd recognizes the shape and shouts, “Good lord, it’s a Blue Whale!”
the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people
you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great
wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me
in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth
based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”
It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.
Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.
Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.
Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.
Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.
Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.
I’m starting to think that instead of vampires as a metaphor for oppressed people, we really need to start using vampirism as a metaphor for privilege.
Like, yes, you’re a vampire and you probably can’t help that, and sometimes people will freak the fuck out when you’re coming at them even if it’s just to ask if you can borrow a cup of sugar for your blood muffins or something, and you’re like, “Hey, don’t judge me just because I’m a vampire!”
And then a human’s like, “Um, well, historically, vampires tend to attack us humans and drink our blood.”
And sure, your first instinct is to go “Hey, I’m one of the good vampires! I have a subscription service at a blood bank and everything!”, but… that… doesn’t change the fact that historically, yeah, vampires have survived by eating humans. Any changing perception of vampires is going to have to start with vampires.
So instead of protesting your innocence, you have to start by going to find other vampires and being like “Hey guys, we have to stop eating humans.”
And unfortunately, a lot of vampires are gonna think they’re already doing everything they need to to be Good Vampires, and this needs to be combatted. Being a Good Vampire is a never-ending struggle, and it’s not very rewarding, but it’s what has to be done.
And some humans will never, ever stop being suspicious of you, and you’ll have to accept that. Humans don’t owe you their respect just because you’re doing them the basic service of not flapping into their bedrooms at night and biting their necks. That’s like, the bare minimum of not being an asshole vampire. And some humans will probably still make jokes about how vampires can’t go in the sun without burning up and how they have no reflections and how for some reason they think “Alucard” is actually a cute baby name, but you’ll just have to deal with that, because they’re coping with the fact that this is an entire population of things that historically have always eaten them.
But it’s not about you. It’s about making the world safer for humans, and combatting it every damn time you see another vampire planning out a good old-fashioned round of feasting on virgins in nightgowns, and saying “Okay, no, that’s really offensive” the next time one of your vampire buddies refers to a human as a bloodbag, and generally working overtime to present a pro-human standpoint.
Because really, what good does it do to make the monsters the oppressed ones?
This is basically my issue with every story that uses creatures that are generally willing and capable of killing people en masse as a metaphor for marginalized groups.
I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.
I’ve decided that I want him to be played by Jeff Goldblum.